Goodbyes Never Get Easier

I’m no stranger to goodbyes. We have gone through them for the past decade it seems like. From boot camp, to deployments, to long distance from our families; the list goes on. Each time I think they'll get easier and each and every single time I prove myself wrong.  

Today was no different.

I thought that with having AJ for good it would make saying goodbye to Antonio a little less hard, but it never works that way. Instead, I was holding back tears as I watch them say goodbye to one another, both trying to be strong and hold it back.  

So seriously heartbreaking. 

The drive to daycare was rough, even though we stopped for donuts and coffee. (Or in AJ’s case chocolate milk) the tears came when I had to say goodbye to him at preschool. Even though it was just watery eyes for him because he just said “bye-bye” to daddy and now mommy was leaving too. But it was gut wrenching for me, knowing he knows that it’s going to be a minute before he sees his dad again and that he thinks I’m leaving him too. 

I know he’s okay, he loves school, we both call and check in throughout the day... I’m pretty sure his school has our numbers saved at this point. Lol So, I held in my watery eyes and waited until I was back in my car to let them out. Though my little man was strong, today mommy just was not. 

I will put that smile back on my face for when I pick him up after work...

But I wish it just got easier each time.